Before you Slap, pt 1

It’s easy to be quick on the Slap Trigger. A business screws something up, you get mucked around, and then you seethe with annoyance. iplug offers the perfect release for all that pent-up frustration; log in and Slap the rotters! It’s instant, it’s cathartic and it’s convenient. We should all do it – like installing a blow-up punching-boss in the corner of the office.

But…

Let’s step back for a moment and be realistic. How many times in your life have you had to apologise for being too quick out of the blocks, even if only in your mind? You know the scenario; one of your co-workers is late to work and you have to shoulder the burden for a few hours, swearing at them under your breath… until you learn that they had to shoot away early that morning because their mother passed away.

Or you blame one of the kids for something and yell at them, only to discover later that it was actually your fault.

This happens to us all, and those who are quick off the mark often have to eat humble pie in order to restore a prior relationship. We sometimes say things we regret, we act on insufficient information, we make assumptions – it’s all part of being human.

But what happens when the target of your instant assumption of guilt is a total stranger? Like, for example, an employee of a business that you are dealing with? And what if you rush home, jump online to www.iplug.co.nz and give them a jolly good SLAP? All within minutes of the incident?

If it turns out that they weren’t at fault, or that mitigating circumstances meant they had no control over the situation, what have you done? At the very least you’ve been unjustly harsh and at worst you may have damaged a perfect reputation.

All of which offers up the suggestion that as with vacationing and lovemaking, it’s best to take your time; calm down and think about it first – before you Slap someone. It’s a given that you never shop when you’re hungry, and never negotiate when you’re angry. Take the time to cool off. Then if, after careful consideration (and after your blood pressure and heart rate have dropped) you still feel that the business deserves a Slap, so be it. Just be sure that it’s a rational and calm Slap, not a spur-of-the-moment, impulsive, back hand Slap.

And of course if they really do deserve a Slap, don’t be shy about telling them why – in detail.

Who can I Plug?

I’m primed, ready and full of un-fired Plugs, so who can I target?

The quickest and easiest way to answer this question is probably to ask who can’t you Plug?

One; you can’t Plug your own business. That’s a given (and against the rules). If you own a business, you can ask others to Plug you, but giving yourself praise is not an option.

Two; you can’t Plug your neighbour because they brought your washing in for you. As much as we’d love to see ordinary people getting Plugs, this is a business site, and it exists for customers and businesses. Not neighbours. (Who knows, perhaps in the future…?)

Three; you can’t Plug your coach, boss, employee or teacher (see above)

Four; you can’t Plug a rock. Or a tree or a bird or a flower.

Well that about covers it.

What you can Plug is your hairdresser, your lawyer, your chimney sweep or your dentist. You can Plug the hardware shop down the road, the video store, the Chinese takeaway and the home brew supplies store.

You can also Plug an individual real estate salesperson (separately from the company or office) and the Avon representative who leaves stuff in your letterbox.

The fact is that ANYONE who has customers can receive Plugs. And as a Plugger, it may be up to you to remind them of this possibility.

If you have used a business or a sole trader or even a farmer’s market stall, and you’re happy with what they did for you, Plug them. They’ll appreciate it – and you’ll be rewarded for it in more ways than one.

Anonymous, or obvious?

When you sign up as a Registered User of iplug – a ‘Plugger’ – you have the opportunity to set your ALIAS. This has to be unique on the site, but it can be anything; your nickname from school, your first name followed by 001 or a 69, your favourite X-Men character… anything goes.

But have you considered using your real name?

Before you shout ‘I don’t want people knowing my real name!’ consider this;

You are a consumer. You are making comments on businesses with the express purpose of improving customer service in general. But what about your own benefits? It’s all very well to contribute to the greater cause of service improvement, but how about the way companies and businesses treat you personally?

If you use your real name and give a glowing Plug to your hairdresser, what do you think will happen the next time you visit? Okay, it might be a little embarrassing. But the fact is that people like to be liked (business owners and managers are no exception) and people tend to like the people who like them back.

See where we’re going here?

Your hairdresser, knowing that you obviously like them (which you proved with your well-worded, accurate Plug) will now treat you as a VIC – Very Important Customer. This may not have happened if your ALIAS was SNOOPYFLUFFYKINS.

And so what if the whole wide world learns that you reward good businesses with Plugs (or might be prepared to Slap the poor ones)? If you’ve ever been in business yourself, you know quite well that customers who have given you positive testimonials in the past are welcomed back with open arms, and your staff are made very clear on that fact.

So maybe this is one of the exceptions to the rules of ‘protecting your identity on the ‘net’. Of course you don’t need be be completely accurate, with middle names and DOB. Your first name and initial of your surname might be enough. Or your business name; ‘BUGCATCHER’.

I’d also add that you should still be careful what you say; “XYZ Locksmiths were really cool getting me into my house at 123 Alfabet Street when I shut myself out! Their advice that I hide a key outside (in the big plant on the deck) was wonderful!”

Keep Plugging!

I don’t want to be Slapped!

It seems the biggest barrier to businesses joining the iplug community and collecting feedback from their customers is the fear of being Slapped.

I don’t want to ask a customer what they thought of my service in case they tell me they didn’t like it.”

Forward-thinking businesspeople know this is a crock. It’s a bit like saying “I don’t want to drive into the city to accept the award in case we have an accident on the way, or the car breaks down.”

Back at the turn of the century the thought of purchasing something online from a complete stranger, and paying for it first, was unthinkable. “What if they don’t send the goods?” or “What if the goods arrive and are damaged?” TradeMe got off to a slow and grinding start. But things soon hotted up when the early users dipped their toes in the water of online auction shopping and didn’t get burnt (please excuse the mixed metaphor). Now half the population think nothing of paying for goods from a stranger and trusting in the site and the system to protect them.

And that’s the key; trusting in the site and the system.

People are scared to list their businesses on a site that allows customers to say things about them – because they haven’t actually done it yet! And remember, you have protection! Look at it logically;

  • In the beginning the only customers who go to iplug to Plug you will be the ones YOU direct there yourself. (And if you have a disgruntled customer in your past, you’re hardly likely to ring or email them and say ‘give us a Plug’ are you?)
  • In the beginning the only members of the general public who will see your Plugs are those YOU direct there and say ‘check out our Plugs!
  • We used the term ‘Slap’ for negative feedback because it’s harsh. A customer or client is hardly likely to Slap you because you sold out of papers, or because the root canal job cost them a small fortune. If they’re NOT happy with you, they just won’t Plug you.
  • And finally, all Slaps are moderated by iplug. A Slap can only come from a genuine customer or client of yours, and must be detailed and accurate. “These pr**ks are hopeless!” will not get through the moderation process. “He promised I would get a tax refund of $10,000 but it was only $8,780!” is a real Slap – but only if it is accurate and from a genuine client. Don’t forget you also have the right to reply to Slaps too. “If this client had disclosed all of their income in the first place, they would have gotten more than 10k.”

Before we go, check out the big players on TradeMe or eBay. It’s almost impossible to have a 100% feedback and have more than a hundred comments. Even the best of the traders attract complainers, and what’s the best way to take them out of the equation? Pile up the Plugs! 99.9% positive is common, rendering the tiny minority who complain insignificant.

All of which means, before you worry about getting Slapped, worry instead about your opposition getting Plugs, and taking the lead in the fight for the consumer.

Business cancers

At the risk of sounding a little controversial, let me make a statement here; there are a lot of parallels between running a business and preventing cancer.

Cancer is a debilitating disease that can begin in any part of the body, spread to healthy flesh and organs under its own steam, and if left untreated can destroy the host completely. But the treatments for cancer can be as damaging as the disease itself, a fact which results in numerous compromises between management, treatment and prevention.

But by far the worst aspect of cancer is its furtive approach. When you fall from a tree and break your arm, you’re aware instantly that there’s a problem, and consequently you’re able to take measures to remedy it. But cancers begin slowly and out of sight, often growing to an unstoppable level before you’re even aware that something is wrong. That, more than anything else, is the biggest issue with cancer.

Cancer starts with a single cell going out of whack (excuse the technical terminology). But imagine, if you will, that there was a machine that could detect a single cancerous cell and alert the body that something was awry. A single cell can be excised with a lot less damage to the host than if it were allowed to grow to many tens of thousands of cells. Therefore, if this machine existed, cancer would not.

All of which means that – as I’m sure you’ve heard before – early detection is the key to cancer prevention.

Like the human body, there are many furtive maladies that can affect businesses, and the similarities to cancer are undeniable. These business cancers can begin anywhere, and if left untreated can build to the point at which the prognosis is poor. But like human cancers, business cancers can be far more easily controlled or treated if detected early.

However, unlike human disease control there actually is a machine that can detect early onset of business cancer. It’s called feedback.

Whether a business supplies a service or sells a product, the customer is always king. More customers spending more money almost always means more profit, and happy customers will keep coming back again and again. Conversely anything that upsets a customer is ultimately going to upset the business. Yet many business owners or managers are unaware that their customers are getting frustrated, or not coming back, or spending less, until it’s too late.

Here’s a scenario; a business manufactures baby buggies. They’re state-of-the-art, they’re shiny and they look good. The business spends a fortune on marketing their baby buggies and initially sales are good. But their buggy has a major flaw; the collapse catches are fiddly and pinch fingers, and many mums are injured trying to fold down their buggies. Now as it happens, mums gather in herds (in places like daycare centres and play groups) and talk to each other. Soon the word gets around that these baby buggies are too difficult to collapse and sales slow down. The business then spends more on marketing – and sells more buggies. But the cost of the campaign offsets the profits from the new sales.

Ultimately the business fails due to lack of word-of-mouth sales.

Now imagine what would have happened if the management team of the buggy business had received several Slaps* from the early purchasers;

“It caught my fingers!”

“I can’t collapse it!”

“I’ve had to buy another buggy!”

*You’ll find out more about Slaps at www.iplug.go.nz

The problematic catch could have been changed at design level and the buggy improved before ‘word’ got around about it’s drawbacks. Then, when the mums gathered in their herds, the ‘word’ would have been good, and buggy sales would climb without recourse to expensive marketing campaigns.

The moral of the story is that negative feedback need not be detrimental to a business. In fact, when launching a brand new business or service or product, a whole swag of ‘nice one’s is not nearly as beneficial as a few decent, well considered criticisms.

Prepare for Slaps and welcome them.

What if my competitors Slap me?

This, more than any other, is the question being asked by potential iplug Listers. And it’s a good one too. In fact, it’s right up there with;

  1. What if I get no customers to my new business?
  2. What if my business fails and I have to lay off all the staff? and
  3. Will I regret leaving my cosy, salaried position in order to go into business for myself and be my own boss?

In other words, it’s a valid question, but only one of the many that plague all business owners throughout their business lives.

What if my competitors Slap me?

There are two instant answers to that question;

  1. It’s unlikely they will, and
  2. They very well might (you hope).

So there you have it; quick and concise answers to the most perplexing of questions, delivered honestly and succinctly.

You want more? Okay, we’ll expand on the answers in Part 2.